Banana Republic

There have been many changes in our household over the past two weeks. One has to do with food. Did you know that if you buy 21 bananas on one day, that by the end of the next day, they will all be eaten? (I have a gut feeling that Chiquita stock might be going up soon.) And did you know that a little 4 year old girl who weighs all of 31 pounds can eat 4 eggs plus fruit, bread and tea for breakfast? And perhaps most amazing, is that some children think that chocolate has the most disgusting taste you can imagine. It’s almost as bad to them as cake, brownies, or muffins, or even worse, ice cream!

For those of you who know me well, you know that baking is one of my love languages. And to realize my kids will not appreciate my homemade goodies is a little disappointing. At least they accepted my sad attempt at ingera, the national ‘bread’ of Ethiopia. It’s like a sourdough crepe, and they use it as a plate as well as a spoon for picking up their food. They laughed at them at first, but ate them anyway.

Another change has to do with time. Where does it go? Just a few days ago I finally managed to get our luggage back in our closet, but not all our trip things are put away. I can’t see the garden I planted in the early spring because of all the weeds in the way. Sorry to be so late on my thank you notes, but I’ll get to them eventually. Be assured we are very appreciative of the generosity of so many people!

My homemade kids have fended for themselves for years in the kitchen, so I’m having to get used to preparing 3 meals a day again. And I love to see them eat, even if there are many foods they politely try, then say “No, Mom…garbage.” At least the girls like several foods their brother won’t touch, like bacon and strawberries.

There have been a lot of firsts…first bikes, first drinking fountains (I never realized how many our church had), first glue sticks, first new shoes, first trip to Wal-Mart…they seem to take it all in stride and want to go with Mommy or Daddy anytime one of us needs to run an errand. They aren’t fearful in the least, except of dogs….T. and W. are learning to not be afraid of all the canines in our neighborhood.

I found out that back home, their family had cows, goats and chickens. A. loves chickens, and I took them to a friend’s house where they raise some chickens. He picked one up right away and held it close, talked softly to it, petted it…the chicken seemed quite happy. Obviously, A. had held quite a few chickens in his time.

We’re getting the ‘un-fun’ stuff out of the way, like their first doctor appointment a few days ago. Today I have to take them to have blood drawn, and X-rays to rule out TB and help verify W.’s age. (I’m praying God’s grace will be sufficient!). Next week it’s their first dentist visit….in their lives, I’m guessing, by the looks of their teeth. And their first round of immunizations the next day. (sigh)

I felt a little guilty when talking to the dentist’s receptionist. She just gushed about how wonderful it was that we had kept this sibling group together, given them a new life in America, etc. I have to admit the warm fuzzy feeling about adoption left us a few hours after we picked them up in Addis. Adoption is work…real work. It’s not always fun, it’s certainly not easy, and it doesn’t end. Don’t get me wrong. Our transition has gone quite well and it could be oh so much harder. But the reality is that it takes time for 3 little complete strangers, with a multitude of needs and a foreign language and culture, to meld into your family…and into your heart.

We are bonding well, but it will take some time before we ‘feel’ like one big happy family. I’m very pleased with the progress we’ve all made thus far. And I’m sure the Chiquita Corporation is very pleased at our children’s banana intake.

Blessings,

Julie

"Normal" Children

Well, the suspense is over. It looks like we have some normal children after all. Not angels, not sweeter-than-honey attitudes, but everyday, normal, and at times disobedient, self-centered, stubborn, strong-willed kids. Kind of like our homemade kids have been over the years. So it's no surprise, and completely expected. I'm just glad we're over the jet lag is it's not too exhausting to deal with!

And it's not horrible, really. One of them is strong willed and is deciding that not eating is a good way to pout. We've had a chat with an Ethiopian lady at our adoption agency, and she talked to our child as well. We have the peace of mind that the issue is very clear, and that Jeff and I have the mindset that our will is going to outlast our child's. I'm glad they are comfortable enough with us to act 'normal' and not put on a front of trying to please us, while they're hearts are far from desiring to do so.

So now the real parenting begins. Please pray for wisdom and softened hearts. Pray we'd know how to respond, not merely react. Pray that the love of Jesus would permeate our home, words and family, and that we can raise our children 'in the way they should go.'

Blessings,
Julie

When it rains...

Today is Monday, and it's hard to believe we've been home 3 days now. The transition with the kids has gone amazingly well! Especially when you consider all the 'drama' we've faced: our basement had standing water in the mechanical room when we returned. It appears the HVAC sump pump stopped working. The result? Mold growing behind the baseboards and sheet rock in a corner where 4 rooms meet....you can imagine the mess that is! Jeff has cut out the moldly parts already. The cardboard boxes my Christmas trees were in, ruined...the floor will have to be taken up in a part of Jeff's office, no one can play in the basement, Jeff had to move his office upstairs, etc...having to face that the very first day back.......blech!

The ice maker keeps freezing up, an inch of ice had to be cleared from the bottom of the freezer yesterday. Today, a leak under the kitchen sink. This morning, a very scary near car accident for Julie (someone pulled out in front of me, I had to stand on the breaks, swerve to avoid T-boning them...fortunately, went through some grass and dirt, no damage done, but what a freak out!). Let's see, what else......Josh crashed on his scooter showing off (no big deal, really, just a scrape.) But honestly, it seems more than mere coincidence at this point!

So, please pray for our family's protection and God's continued grace as we adjust to life together with our three new blessings!

Due to some privacy concerns, I have removed some personal information from our blog, including the full names of our handpicked kids. Long story short, in our case, we have evidence that there could be some unwanted contact in the future that would most definetely not be in the best interest of our children. For their emotional well-being, we are taking steps to prevent that from happening. For those who have adopted before, this subject is a complicated one I know. There's no need to share further details here, and there's nothing to worry about, but this seems a prudent step to take based on our particular situation.

Now, on to more pleasant things. Kids are eating well. They love eggs, oranges and bananas, corn, avacados...and they'll eat p.b.&j. and mac n cheese, even if it's not their favorite. The little one eats more than her older sister by far. We keep expanding our shared vocabulary, but we've got a long way to go. Today we started doing some simple chores together. A. (boy) wasn't too excited about it, but he eventually went along with it. When I was cleaning the floor with W., that's when I saw the water leak under the sink.

I bought helmets and new shoes for them yesterday, in part so they could ride some scooters we have. T. gave her new shoes a big hug and smiled so sweetly. A. and T. both said thank you more than once. Little W. was busy stomping on her shoes, as her's light up.

A. was sad when we went on a short walk in our neighborhood yesterday, and asked to visit the house of a friend who was adopted at the same time he was. I tried to explain how far away from here she lived (about an 18 hour drive), and used the word 'plane'. Then he got it and his little face just fell. I felt sorry for him, so today we sent his friend an email picture. It's so hard to explain even simple things to these children at this point!

I'll probably take the children to church this week. I think they'll be ready, and I'll have my homemade kids be their 'buddies' in their classes. I'm so thankful their orphanage did a good job of introducing them to Jesus. (They call him Yay-zus). They know several praise songs in Amharic and are quick to bow their little heads and clasp their hands before meals and at bedtime. They are watching the Jesus Film in Oromo-Arsi as I type. I'll be buying the Children's version in Amharic for them, which I'm sure they'll love.

It is a little exhausting at times to have to constantly watch them. They don't know what mail is, or where to color with crayon (not on furniture!), to not ride an adult bicycle, to not pet the bunnies' ears backwards, etc etc etc. But how could they know? They've never been where there were 'things' and they are only curious. So we have to be kind and patient, but consistent and firm. One day this stage will be over, but for now, I don't trust them on their own anywhere.

We are bonding well. They compete over my attention, and I'm careful to give it equally, not letting one of them 'win' while the other gets left out (though it seems that's what they want at times.) The girls are great big sisters, and Josh is making a real effort to find things he and A. can share. Jonathan graduates on Saturday, and I'll leave Josh and our handpicked kids at home with Grandma Jane. If I had a few more weeks with them under my belt, I'd take them along. But it's just too soon at this point.

Here's a few pictures. One was done in Addis Ababa right before our embassy appointment. The other I took this morning. Thanks again for your prayers. As evidenced by all our 'drama', we still need them!

Blessings,
Julie

Friday Update...Home Sweet Home!

What is today? Thursday, Friday, Saturday.....after spending over 30 hours driving, flying, standing in numerous lines, showing our passports to a gazillion clerks, filling out a boatload of forms, etc., we are finally home, safe and sound. A little groggy maybe, but safe none the less. The kids could not have been more perfect on the plane. Really. No crying, no complaining, no fussiness, nada. They were happy to sit and play with some things I brought, and slept a fair amount. It took us about 2 1/2 hours after we landed to get through passport, immigration and customs. On the long 6 hour drive home, the girls slept most of the way, and A and I taught each other Amharic and English words...not that I remember too many of mine!

All the kids are in our basement now, playing with a used Thomas the Train set we picked up shortly before we left. They're starting to perk up a little, just when I thought the girls were exhausted and ready for bed. It will be interesting to see how jet lag affects them.

Danielle had the house all nice and clean for us, with a fresh baked chocolate heart cake to boot, and Jonathan had mowed the yard. How good it was to give all the kids hugs and be together for the first time.

There is much more I plan to share about our trip, but I'm just happy to update my blog myself. The internet in Ethiopia was so slow (52 kbs) I couldn't even view my blog, let alone update it. It could take 30 minutes to just read one or two emails from home and send my one message! And that's with me typing it first!

Thanks again for all your prayers...they worked! Our transition so far could not have gone better. The kids are open and warm to us, we had almost no sickness on the trip, there were no delays with red tape or travel, we made some great relationships, etc. I know the 'honeymoon' period for adoption can last a few hours or a few months, but I'm enjoying mine so far!

Blessings,
Julie

Thursday update

The embassy date went fine and took all of about 5 minutes. Leaving for the airport soon and everything is on schedule so far.

Wednesday update

Wednesday Update

Our embassy appointment went fine. Josh stayed at the guest house with a few other American children, while the rest of us traversed the serpentine streets of Addis Ababa to get to the US embassy. There we met other CWA families (7 families in all) who were waiting their turn at the ‘teller’ window to get their final visa paperwork finalized. Other couples were told their visas would be ready Friday morning, and with us flying Thursday night, this was a concern. But we were able to arrange to have ours processed more quickly. So our visa is supposed to be ready by 3 PM tomorrow. Please pray that it is! Friday flight is full, and Thursday has at least 70 empty seats.

Here’s today’s special moment. T and I were walking down stairs at the guest house together. She held our digital camera. (We’ve all been amazed at how quickly our technology has been assimilated. MP3 players, hand held games, cell phones, are all eagerly handled.) T turned on the camera, and bent down to kiss the picture displayed. I wondered what she was doing, and I looked: the picture was one we had taken right before our embassy appointment..a first family picture of sorts (missing our 2 at home of course). My heart melted as I realized she was saying she loved her new family!

This morning our hostess, Tsebay, took the time to translate for us as we explained to the kids about coming home to America, what the airplane ride would be like, etc. We had taken video of us boarding the plane to get here which was very helpful. Many interesting questions came up. Another Ethiopian girl asked, “Will the plane crash into the ocean?” She had obviously seen a few movies! A wondered if he could ride a bike to his friends house…..in Minnesota! We had to explain that they lived far apart, but they could call or a webcam call.

This evening we were treated to a little concert done by some teenagers that are friends and family of the workers here. Their sweet voices singing English praise songs were the perfect send off for us. Then most of the adopted kids hopped up onto the ‘stage’ to sing praise songs they knew. It was dark so the video we took wasn’t great, but the audio was great. I’m glad to say that T and A were among the loudest singers.

To cap off our day, Hannah lost a tooth! She decided to skip the Ethiopian tradition of throwing the tooth on the roof, especially since it’s 3 stories high. I’m not sure if the tooth fairy will visit here, at our home.

God willing, we will report to the airport by 7 PM and leave around 10 PM. It will be almost 17 hours total. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it, but I think the kids should do OK. And the flight attendants will speak Amharic, which will be helpful. We should land around 8 AM Friday morning local time in DC.

Please pray the kids will fly well, our visa comes in time so we can fly, and that the ride home will be tolerable. I’m glad to report that Hannah is feeling fine today. Josh had a better day, too, but is still a little grumpy this evening. And for the first time this trip, I actually slept last night.

Thanks for your prayers and we hope to see you soon…..in Tennessee!

Blessings, Julie

Tuesday update

Tuesday Update

Today has been a day to get to know the children better. W has come out of her shell and can be very funny and animated. T is a bit more reserved and will play quietly by herself. A has a competitive streak and is more physical than perhaps what Josh is used to, especially when he is around other Ethiopian kids his age. But he is a good boy.

We’ve learned how to communicate important things like, “Do you need to go to the bathroom?” and “Are you hungry?” But there is still so much more to know. Once we get home, we won’t have the help of Amharic speakers to get us through the day. I confess I’m not looking forward to that!

This evening, reality hit for Josh. This is a normal part of the process, especially when you are tired and missing all the comforts of home. I believe when he can get some sleep, (and maybe a fresh donut from the bakery down the street), he’ll have a much better attitude. But please pray for God’s grace for him right now. (He came down while I was typing email. Already he is out of much of his grumps J)

Hannah has been an angel. I can’t imagine being here without her. She has been so good with the kids. But this evening, after a few bites of dinner, she felt ill and is right now lying down in our bed, hoping she doesn’t throw up, and complaining of a bad headache. It’s nothing worrisome, just an unpleasant inconvenience. Please pray she will feel better and get some rest tonight.

Power was off all day, until 6 this evening. I wasn’t sure if I would even be able to send this email or not. This is normal for here. At least there are lots of windows, so you don’t notice it so much in the daytime.

I must say being at a guest house instead of a hotel is the best thing. With other families here, their American kids, and their newly adopted ones, who know each other, makes the transition so much better. Still, I look forward to getting home and finding our own routine. It won’t be the same routine we had before, but it will be ours.

Tomorrow is our embassy appointment, around 2:30 in the afternoon here. We take our kids with us. After that, all we have to have done is our visa delivered. PLEASE PRAY IT WILL COME IN TIME TO FLY OUT ON THURSDAY. Friday’s flight is full, so if we miss Thursday, we may be here a few extra days. Probably won’t happen, but it is possible.

We gave the kids their first baths today. There was a bit of dirt to rinse away when we were done, but at least we filled the tub with warm water right before the power went out this morning. The girls like wearing their headbands and dresses. Can you believe that the little pink crocs we brought for W are almost too big? No way is this girl about to turn five. She might be 4, or an older 3. T is probably 6, A, 7 or 8. I’m sure this will become more clear as we go. We found out that A has had very little school. He had some, but had to drop out. So we’ll be starting at the beginning with him for sure. But he seems sharp and quick to learn.

Sorry if this update is not very well put together. I’m still not sleeping…only having 4 or less hours of sleep is no fun. Not sure tonight will be much better, but we’ll see.

Don’t get the idea things are bad here. I’ve been able to make injera, go shopping, meet wonderful people…and tomorrow is our last full day here. Before long we’ll be taking that long flight home (almost 17 hours) and then driving 6 hours home. I’m glad God’s grace is sufficient, ‘cause we’re sure going to need it!

Thanks again for your prayers……..Julie

Monday update

How do I describe the first moment I saw their faces? Even now I can’t put it into words. We pull up in the CWA van outside the foster care office, along with 3 other families. We got out, and I wasn’t sure where the children would be. But as soon as we walked through the tall gate, there they were: a gaggle of kids, all looking anxiously at us, wondering “Which ones are mine?”. Then I saw A’s face, near the front. He was smiling so big. I said his name and he looked at me. I ran to him and asked again to make sure. He held out his hand like a little gentleman and said, “Good morning!” I gave him a big hug as I tried (not very well) to hold back the tears. Next was T, smiling sweetly, hugging me. Then W, a little shy, and not sure what was happening. She was pulling on A’s arm, asking if someone else was her new mom or dad. I hugged them all again, and Hannah and Josh and Jeff were all taking turns hugging. Hannah couldn’t hold back her tears at all. The kids looked at us wondering why we were crying. I had a worker explain they were happy tears!

They are all I was hoping for and more. A has a gentle and humble spirit. Very caring. I guess he’s been looking after the younger ones at the care center. And he is so kind. You can see it in how he made sure every boy at the care center got a lollipop. T eagerly held our hands and played with my and Hannah’s hair. A and Josh connected right away. They’ve had such fun playing together. W is the shy one. Still very young, not as quick with things as her siblings. But she is so adorable. I don’t think she knows quite what is going on, but she’s happy to follow along with her siblings.

Back at the guest house, everyone has been playing together. Another family, who brought 3 teenage children with them, has adopted a daughter similar to age to T and our kids know her from Shashemene orphanage. So it’s like a big recess period around here: soccer, jump rope, matchbox cars, on old bike with flat tires they’re trying to ride, etc. All playing together and having fun.

A few surprises today. Our children have a photo album of their family. I also found out the girls have forgotten Oromo and speak Amharic. A speaks both. I would have tried to learn some Amharic had I known. But that’s OK.

I am not sleeping well at all. I feel OK in the day, but it’s at least 2 AM before I can fall asleep. I know it will catch up with me eventually, so please pray my body will allow me to rest.

What a day! We are still taking it all in. Please pray we will bond well with our children. We are blessed with people at the guest house who can talk to them and explain things, so right now communication isn’t hard. We can tell it will take longer for W to connect with us. But that’s to be expected.

Tomorrow either Jeff or I will venture out to do shopping, which we have yet to do. Everyone here is playing all together, so one of us being gone will not be an issue. Wednesday is our embassy date, then hopefully, flying home Thursday. Most families are flying Friday. Please pray our visa will come in time for us to leave Thursday!

Sunday update

Today we hired a driver to take us south of Addis, closer to where the kids are from. There is so much we saw: 2 volcanic lakes, numerous birds of all colors, dust devils that looked like small tornados, termite mounds, weaver bird nests, lots of round mud huts, goats, cows, and dust dust dust. We gained a much better understanding of how our children have grown up and the daily realities they have faced. We didn't make it all the way down to their area because it was too far, but what we saw is a good reflection of their home. We also got to know our driver, Elijah, who is a worship leader at his church. We had a good time singing together!

Tonight 2 more families arrive at the guest house, and tomorrow is the big day when we meet our children for the first time. The reality of this moment hasn't quite sunk in yet. But I'm sure reality will smack us in the face tomorrow. We are excited and also anxious. What a day it will be!

Most of us are over our jet lag, but Jeff is still a little sluggish at times. (What's new? ha ha!). But we're doing well and very comfortable here at Ethio Comfort Guesthouse. Josh and Hannah have been making good friends with the staff.

I'm sure our next update will be a momentous one as we share our first meeting with the kids.

Blessings,
Julie

We're here!!!

Hi all,

We are here safe and sound. Our flight was about 2 hours delayed out of DC, but the trip was smooth and no problems. Addis seems just like Phnom Penh to us, except that it isn't quite as crowded and the people look a bit different. The guest house will work out well. The internet pictures make it look bigger than it is, but it will do just fine. We met some interesting people on the plane, some adopting, some doing mission work. Very comfortable weather here...cool breeze, in 70s, sunny. Today we had a driver take us around town, including up a mountain to get a bird's eye view of Addis. 7 million people live here believe it or not!

Tomorrow we will have a driver take us in a van south of town, closer to where our children are from. We may not make it all the way to Arsi Negelle, but at least we can video the countryside and capture a bit of what their homeland is like. We will pick up our kids around 10 AM on Monday.

We appreciate your prayers for getting over our jet lag (3 of us haven't slept much in two days), safety, continued health, and of course, a good transition for our children.

Blessings,
Julie